Knowledge without justice ought to be called cunning rather than wisdom.Plato

 

Knowledge without justice ought to be called cunning rather than wisdom. Plato

 

Unliberated

I'm anticipating a very psychologically painful dying experience, where I'm completely alone, and I don't have the credibility, or respectability to receive pity, or compassion. 

I will go out knowing I was right about what a fucking cunt mother nature is, as it unleashes it's impending wraith upon me in its cruelty. 

The universe is not a loving place, but an unjust puppeteer, and I'm an utterly powerless puppet. 

I have no credibility or validation, but I know I'm right. 

Fuck the world.

pointless suffering

I'm a cunt and a piece of shit because that's all society will allow me to be and my place is to suffer every miserable pointless day of my pathetic life.

I will describe my side of the story and the sound of the description will break sound itself, and it will be a revelation to every cunt that bullied me and treated me like the piece of shit I am.

The nature of peoples is first crude, then severe, then benign, then delicate, finally dissolute. Giambattista Vico

 

Pungent dynamics

I was ruminating the other day. Thinking about all the times I've been bullied by others. 

They targeted me as soon as I started school, before that, life was great.

The experience of bullying from every person at the highschool I went to. The pungent dynamics. The way they discriminated me like a piece of shit because I liked Nirvana. 

A cunt named kade Bolitho held me up and kneed me in the balls so hard that I was on the ground, in agony, looking like a fucking bitch

Eventually I left school because they were too mighty for me, and went into isolation, being poisoned by my mother and her partner at the time.

I couldn't forget the grin on his face as I stood there, in front of the mental health nurses, looking like a bitch, then being carted off to the psyche ward to start my stint in the system.

The fucking teacher that felt like he could stand me up in front of the whole class and run me down for the scumbag I was, dehumanising me.

I stank like shit. 

Then I started in the public housing units, complying to the institution and the politics of jailbird neighbours, all while loving masturbation, a bit too much.

They tried to heckle me out of life, I performed a weak suicide attempt to escape their wraith.

Up until about 2 years ago, when I stopped conforming to societal traditions and pungent dynamics. Death is a manmade thing because even the words are created by man.

Most people will now down to peer and sociatel constraints, and dynamics. Those people usually find themselves in the process of dying on a hospital bed in the clutches of the hospital system, which is far from perfect.

I don't think I'll be playing the Mirage or the Tropicana when I'm 40. MC Ren

 

I felt no stigma whatsoever in becoming the third Mrs. Gifford. Kathie Lee Gifford

 

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

My ultimate aim is to make euthanasia a positive experience. Jack Kevorkian

 

It is always by way of pain one arrives at pleasure. Marquis de Sade

 

"Grief is just love with nowhere to go." — Anonymous

 

Adapt or perish, now as ever, is nature's inexorable imperative. H. G. Wells

 

You yourself don't have to be shaken by mortal danger in order to feel your mortality. Seamus Heaney

 

Disempowerment

I imagine a hypothetical Utopia, and how dismal the experience of life is in comparison. 

In a constant state of succumbing to others, or consequence, life feels more like a prison than true liberation. 

Pain is mother nature's way of enslaving it's creations. 

To be pushed beyond endurance thresholds, mother nature knocks us off, one by one. There's nothing empowering about that. 

Take away disempowerment, and power isn't "a thing." 

It was the closest to purgatory that I've ever experienced while I've been living. Dave Thomas

 

Living in a nightmare

After I attempted suicide by overdosing on all my antipsychotic medications, and anything else I had in the house to escape the wraith of my torturous neighbours, where I used to live, the nurses and doctors at the hospital assumed I took too many pills to try to get high, that I accidentally overdosed, because I'm a mental health patient. 

They treated me like a piece of shit, as I lay there in their bed, stinking of vomit.

I was eventually at the mercy of the psychiatrist, with a convenient view of the psych ward outside the window. She ended up showing me mercy and sent me home. 

It was completely silent all night, then chaotic the next day, and one of the neighbours stood outside my door, talking about the smell of death in my direction.

You will condemn me, if you conceive the context of my "illness."

Fear thy neighbour

I don't trust people since I attempted suicide because my neighbours tormented me, every waking moment where I used to live. 

One hasn't experienced hell, until one is at the mercy of neighbours. 

I remember all the bullying, in primary school and in high school. They terrorised me, until I had no choice but to drop out. All my "friends" abandoned me at that time. 

I remember after that, I committed the ultimate sin by smoking cannabis once a week. The consequences were bad trips. The first time I knew I was in trouble was when I was watching Seinfeld back in the 90s, and the people's arms made a "ghhhhs" sound when they moved them. Don't get me started about how I perceived their brains inside their heads. 

The original sin didn't justify the suffering I experienced. It's hard to endure these thoughts whilst having a panic attack, and your heart is palpitating, and you actually hear the gushing sound inside your chest.

These days, I'm clean from any drugs, but the nightmare still remains. 

It's defeating to be the observer of such a pungent side of humans, as they continuously treat me like a piece of shit

I think others are antagonised by me, because I see their ugly sides, I am an observer, perceiving people from a vantage point that no one else ever has.

It doesn't matter who you are, if you have a problem with me, you are a dictator of my impending misery. 

I fucking hate people.

Stuck in Transgression

I went to the doctors to get the antipsychotic injection today. As I was talking to the doctor, towards the end, I think he noticed my situation. The look on his face, was like a deer, stunned by headlights. 

I left his office, and as I was arranging another appointment, to get the next injection, the experience in the doctors office was flashing through my mind like a painting, being watered down. 

I feel like if someone ever hit me, he'd call the police on me, and they'd be too concerned about my mental health, to help, but instead, cart me off to the psychiatric ward. 

Mother nature has a way of sneaking it's hand in, and taking any credibility away from me, while others are playing out the dynamic, because of the negative energy that follows me around. There is a conspiracy against me, and no one will ever give me the benefit of the doubt. You will only feel disgust, because I am a repulsive person. You'll discriminate me, in a similar way that black people, or homosexauls were once discriminated, because that is your human nature.

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. Buddha