The dog got overexcited to go for a walk, and smashed my hand with its paw, down onto the corner of the coffee table. The dog made me feel that stress I feel, when I find it hard to get the pissed off look off my face. I felt anger.
I decided to brush my teeth, so I wouldn't feel that intense stress I tend to get when I walk the dog, and the toothpaste went all over my clothes. I also dropped one of my earbuds in the basin in the bathroom, full of water.
It wouldn't have annoyed me so much, but I needed the pixel buds to mask the "misophonia". I looked online at replacements, and one bud is over $100. I was disgusted by the pungent dynamics of the misfortune.
I took it for the walk, and walked the route I usually go, where there's a path with no lighting. There was a sporting event at the oval. I felt eyes on me. A male whistled loudly at me, and a few other people watched me, walking in the dark. One of them said something. I think they thought I was quite odd, or I looked like a dickhead, which is understandable when I imagine my appearance to them. Dark blue shorts, black mambo t-shirt, overweight, and my hair accentuating my bulging stomach. The perfect candidate for bullying and stigmatizing.
I was extremely tense at this point, because I could feel the pungent judgment, and discrimination.
Earlier today, next door's kids were really loud, yelling out and banging things. I know next door doesn't like me, like all the other neighbours.
The dog knocked the blind off the window, and it nearly smashed my bike auto pump. I felt anger towards the dog, and put it out the back. I could hear next door's kid, asking his father something about me, like why is that guy so angry all the time, dad?
In a ridiculing way.
I was imagining the guy next door listening to me call the dog a cunt, and, with a screwed up look on his face, stressed out, thinking he says that word a lot.
I could feel the hate.
As usual, I came out looking like the bitch.
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