Dying alone

 I was having a "private moment" in the bedroom, wearing my earbuds, and a young kid yells out something at my bedroom window, "poofter!" or something.

I feel like I'll end up that destitute pensioner, alone, dying on my couch from the smoking, broken mentally beyond repair and everyone will dislike me. I already have the advanced care plan, stating I want to do the dying process at home, as the hospital system would stigmatize me, and treat me poorly if I went there. 

I notice societies pungent dynamic, and it makes me want to dry reach.