I better believe in a god

I suffer with cardio issues, where I feel my heart beating all the time. 

I saw a documentary on YouTube about the autonomy of the heart, and how it seems to beat on its own, independent of the person it belongs to.

I have a deep insecurity and phobia of hearing my heart beat, but I feel it beating, all the time. I can hear it sometimes. I believe I have a psychosis about it. What if someone hurt me there. How would my being possibly endure, and withstand the pain.

I imagine getting cut there, or the how excruciating it would be to have a heart attack.

I know my insecurity about my cigarette smoking habit that I've done since the age of 14 plays a role.

I know I can not quit, and no expert has ever convinced me it's possible, which requires justification, of course.