A Personal Journey of Alienation and Isolation

For the past 12 years, I've navigated the challenging waters of persistent anxiety and personality disorders. This journey has been marked by awkward conversational experiences, a constant feeling of not meeting societal expectations in etiquette, and a profound sense of alienation from the world around me. Reliving past traumas and anticipating future ones have become daily hurdles, often accompanied by an overwhelming sense of impending doom. Isolation and detachment have not just been feelings but have shaped the very fabric of my existence.

Traumatic experiences from the past don't stay confined to memories:

Unwanted recollections that feel vividly real. Constantly being on the lookout for potential threats. Steering clear of places, people, or situations that might trigger memories.

The anticipation of trauma reoccurring creates a perpetual state of fear and apprehension.

This sense of impending doom can be paralyzing, making it difficult to engage with the world.

Over time, these struggles have led to increasing isolation.

Isolation becomes both a refuge and a prison, providing temporary relief but exacerbating feelings of loneliness.

The great art of life is sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain.

Lord Byron

There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief.

 Aeschylus

I think the older I get, the more psycho I get.

 Max Cavalera

The main object of a revolution is the liberation of man... not the interpretation and application of some transcendental ideology.

 Jean Genet

It's at the borders of pain and suffering that the men are separated from the boys.

 Emil Zatopek

The Ripple Effect of Negative Energy: How to Protect Your Positivity

Have you ever been on cloud nine, only for your good mood to evaporate after a brief interaction with someone else? It's remarkable how the negative energy of others can impact us, often derailing an otherwise great day. Understanding this phenomenon and learning how to manage it can help you maintain your positivity, even when those around you are struggling.

Emotions are contagious. When someone close to us is having a bad day, their negativity can unintentionally spill over, affecting our own emotional state. This is especially true when the person directing negative energy at us is someone we care about deeply, like a family member or close friend.

For instance, imagine having one of the best days you've had in a long time. You decide to share your joy by calling your mother, expecting a warm and loving conversation. Instead, she responds coldly, snaps at you, and mentions she's in bed. The abrupt negativity catches you off guard, leaving you feeling hurt and deflated. Attempts to reach out to other family members, like your aunt, go unanswered. What started as a wonderful day now feels ruined, replaced by feelings of resentment and the urge to lash out.

We often subconsciously mimic the emotions of those we interact with. Negative emotions can be more potent and infectious than positive ones.

We expect certain people, like family members, to be supportive. When they aren't, it can feel like a personal affront.

Without emotional boundaries, it's easy to absorb others' negative feelings as our own.

Recognize that their negativity is likely about their own struggles, not a reflection of you.

Consider that they might be dealing with issues you're unaware of. A simple, "I'm sorry you're feeling this way," can go a long way.

“Real men wear floral when trespassing.”

 

I wanted to be bored to death, as good a way to go as any.

Peter De Vries

For death is no more than a turning of us over from time to eternity.

 William Penn

Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable... Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals.

  Martin Luther King, Jr.