For the past 12 years, I've navigated the challenging waters of persistent anxiety and personality disorders. This journey has been marked by awkward conversational experiences, a constant feeling of not meeting societal expectations in etiquette, and a profound sense of alienation from the world around me. Reliving past traumas and anticipating future ones have become daily hurdles, often accompanied by an overwhelming sense of impending doom. Isolation and detachment have not just been feelings but have shaped the very fabric of my existence.
Traumatic experiences from the past don't stay confined to memories:
Unwanted recollections that feel vividly real. Constantly being on the lookout for potential threats. Steering clear of places, people, or situations that might trigger memories.
The anticipation of trauma reoccurring creates a perpetual state of fear and apprehension.
This sense of impending doom can be paralyzing, making it difficult to engage with the world.
Over time, these struggles have led to increasing isolation.
Isolation becomes both a refuge and a prison, providing temporary relief but exacerbating feelings of loneliness.
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